The Forgotten Woman
I have a friend who is the mother of two sons (no daughters). Her sons are of marriagable age and, in fact, one is in a “serious” long term relationship. She wonders what her role will be if they become engaged to marry. This is a very valid concern. Typically, the bride & her mother handle the details and the old adage is that the mother of groom “wears beige and keeps her mouth shut”.
Because both sets of parents are now playing a role in the wedding by providing funds, it changes the dynamics. I have had some brides who have been wonderful about including the groom’s mother in the planning; inviting her to accompany the bride to florist appointments, gown fittings, and food tastings. It is a wonderfully generous way to develop a bond. Asking her advice or suggestions shows a maturity on the part of the bride. It is the insecure bride that has trouble doing this.
As the mother of a boy, I understand that sons are so loyal to their moms. They do not, however, want to rock the boat. My son, who lives and works in Chicago, recently contacted me because two of his friends were getting married. He wondered if I could provide guidance to the bride as she was doing the planning pretty much on her own. I was more than pleased to do so. I also felt so pleased that my son valued my experience as a wedding planner and had confidence in my ability to help his friends.
Although weddings have traditionally been the domain of the “women”, it is nice to see that sons are also interested in making sure everything runs smoothly. After all, a woman need only look at how the groom treats his mother to know what kind of a husband he will be.
Filed under Summer Weddings | Comment (0)Wedding this weekend
I had a wonderful wedding this weekend at Prestonwood Country Club. The bride had the most perfect day I have ever seen. Weather was sunny and mild with no humidity ~ in short ~ the most fabulous day!
The ceremony and reception were both held in the lovely ballroom at Prestonwood. They have a wonderful, hardworking staff who sprang into action as soon as the ceremony ended. Opening the air wall and moving all the ceremony chairs. They moved all the dining tables into place quickly and efficiently. I am so impressed with their hard work and dedication.
Meanwhile, the guests enjoyed cocktails and hors d’oeuvres on the terrace and the wedding party had photos taken outside and on the golf course.
After dinner, everyone rocked to the music of The Gentlemen and Their Lady, they had everyone up and moving! They were terrific. Note: a good band can make or break the wedding reception. The band made it a smashing success. Brides are always concerned that a live band will not be able to provide the variety that a DJ can. In my experience, a good cover band can do anything! This band proved it. I know, however, that bands are not part of everyone’s budget. This is where the couple have to decide what the priorities are for their wedding.
The bride surprised the groom with a cigar bar and bourbon after dinner on the terrace. He loved it as did his groomsmen. It was a big hit.
All in all, this was one of my favorite weddings, because the families were so wonderful to work with. The bride and groom couldn’t have been nicer. This is what makes me happy to be able to do what I love!
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